Effects of csa

a wounded heart

a crushed spirit

a body in trauma



and many others




Since I was a young adult studying at university in preparation for Christian Ministry
I have believed that Jesus Christ is the answer to our questions and our underlying needs.

He showed me that I had an issue deep within that I needed to address.

As I opened up to Him
as I repented of my own sins
as I renounced the sin against me

He has been restoring my soul
He has been setting me free

It's been a long hard process

with loads of prayer

many counselors and  being ministered to by many Pastors

It's been a case of following the light of Christ shining in the darkness.

If you are a survivor

or wanting to help a friend or relative who is an adult survivor

send me an email  for further details




Understanding Forgiveness.

      I have resisted  forced forgiveness, false forgiveness and imposed forgiveness ...

The Lord has revealed to me on several aspects of His suffering
today He showed me more of how  forgiveness
is applied to His restoration of our lives from sexual abuse and violation during childhood.

What the Lord showed me
as I read Vines NT Word book on forgiveness:

1. Jesus declares the perpetrator GUILTY
2. Jesus declares the csa DID happen - no denial or cover up
3. the penalty is whipping then crusifiction to death
4. Jesus the judge steps down and pays the price for guilty siners including perps.

He forgave the GUILTY   He suffered because IT MATTERS
 [b]"it involves the complete removal of the cause of the offence"[/b]
The Lord, His Majesty, Prophet, Priest and King  Jesus Christ  removed the sword of abuse durng His suffering
and He destroyed it
Praise His name


As a Minister I confrunted an evil doer in the congregation

sorry its too much

I'll  make a start and come back and complete it later

I was fortunate in one aspect - I was in a position of authority

I was the Pastor of a church I will call  Jezabell's house
 and once it was disclosed to me that there was an evil doer in the congregation
I was not going to cover up csa in my congregation
I was going to protect the sheep from the wolf

In the mid nineties the wood Royal Commission was investigating corruption within the New South Wales
 ( Australia) Police Force.  The issue of pedeophilia surfaced and it's powers were widened.

My denomination produced a protocol for reporting disclosures or suspicions of Child Abuse
I followed those procedures

A collegue at my request investigated the allegations and spoke to the wife of an alleged adult survivor

after hearing the report the Elders forbade the now deceased alleged abuser ( DAA) from entering the church property "until there is a change in your behavour"

the friends and relatives of DAA immediatly sought to undermine my ministry and discredit and victimise me.

The Law which made me a mandatory reporter and promosed protection failed to protect me from being marginalised, victimised and finiancially distrerssed.

I learnt the sad way how a Church protects itself as an institution
rather than fulfilling it's obligation to ensure that a Church is a safe place
rather than fulfilling it's obligation to support its Pastors as sheperds protecting the congregation
                from a preying wolf

and failing to provide ministry to survivors recoverung from sexual abuse within "the church"

   Since then I have survived within the casualised workforce
with some ministry support from generous friens and supporters

with Just One Dollar
you can use your dollar to vote to stand with me against this evil


In 1998 when my recollection of being molesteed at 14 surfaced during councelling
I asked " What are the 12 steps of recovery?"

I was told there are none. That there are lots of books to read but I was not given any titles to buy or read in a library.

I friend suggested that maybe God wants me to develop a recovery programme.

I was a local minister for the  local government area contiaining the site of the  2000 Games
I was determined to pray on site during the Opening night

Who would I pray for?
I resolved to pray for recovery for adult survivors of child sexual abnuse

I claimed a fulfillment of Iasaih Chapter 61

             During 1999 as I prayed and as God showed me keys to recovery
I recorded steps on a ministry line which stayed open for a couple of years

I then wrote it up on a web site as a ministry for Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse.

Would you consider supporting this Ministry by  sending Just one Dollar ?
your suport would be a blessing and be very supportive of my own recovery
and support the ministry programme being developed.